My Dog Can’t Have Separation Anxiety, They…
One of the most common misconceptions about separation anxiety is that dogs who suffer from it will always show certain obvious signs, barking, destruction, or toileting indoors. But separation anxiety looks different for every dog, and sometimes the signs are much more subtle.
Here are some of the things people often say when they’re convinced their dog can’t have separation anxiety, and why it might not be that simple.
1. “They sleep downstairs at night, so they’re fine being alone.”
Sleeping in a different room doesn’t necessarily mean your dog is comfortable being left alone. Night-time separation feels very different to daytime alone time. At night, the house is quiet, the routine is predictable, and your dog knows you’re still nearby. Daytime departures, on the other hand, are unpredictable and can trigger a sense of abandonment.
2. “They don’t bark when I leave.”
Not all dogs with separation anxiety bark or vocalise. Some freeze, some pace silently, and others internalise their distress. Silence doesn’t equal calm, in fact, quiet dogs are often the ones whose anxiety is missed because they’re not drawing attention to themselves.
3. “They never have accidents when I’m gone.”
Toileting in the house can be one sign of separation anxiety, but it’s far from the only one. Some dogs show their distress in other ways, drooling, panting, trembling, or refusing to eat or drink when left alone. The absence of one symptom doesn’t mean the absence of anxiety.
4. “They only do one of those things, so it can’t be separation anxiety.”
Separation anxiety doesn’t come as a checklist where your dog must tick multiple boxes. A single, consistent sign of distress that only happens when your dog is alone is enough to indicate a problem. The intensity and pattern matter far more than the number of symptoms.
5. “They don’t care when my partner leaves them, so they’re fine.”
Dogs can form different attachment patterns with different people. It’s entirely possible for a dog to cope when one person leaves, but panic when another does. The bond, routine, and predictability of each person’s departures all play a role in how secure the dog feels.
6. “They’re fine if I leave them in the car.”
Dogs don’t generalise well, which means they can respond very differently to being alone in different locations. A dog who seems calm when left in the car may still struggle when left alone at home. Many dogs have been unintentionally conditioned to short periods of alone time there, for example, when you pop into a shop for a minute or fill up with petrol. Over time, these brief absences can make car alone-time feel safe and predictable, but that doesn’t mean your dog can cope with beingleft alone elsewhere.
7. “They settle fine with the dog walker or at daycare.”
Dogs with separation anxiety aren’t always anxious about being without people, it’s about being without their person. Many cope perfectly well with a dog walker, sitter, or at day-care, but still panic when left completely alone or when their primary attachment figure departs.
8. “They’re only destructive sometimes, not every time I leave.”
Inconsistent behaviour doesn’t rule out separation anxiety. The level of distress can vary depending on how long you’re gone, what’s happening outside, or how calm your dog was before you left. Just because the signs don’t appear every time doesn’t mean your dog isn’t struggling.
Final Thoughts
Separation anxiety isn’t always obvious. Some dogs show big, dramatic signs; others suffer quietly. If your dog struggles when you leave, even in small ways, it’s worth taking a closer look. With the right support, separation anxiety can be treated, and your dog can learn to feel safe being alone.
Not Sure If It’s Separation Anxiety?
If you’re unsure whether your dog’s behaviour is separation anxiety, I offer a free call where we can talk through what happens when your dog is left alone and explore what kind of support would help.
You don’t need to figure it out on your own, book your free call today and start understanding what your dog is really trying to tell you.
